Truth is the great equalizer. Truth is like water, it rises to its own
level.
We live in a world now where truth appears to be expendable
and has seemly lost its value. It is
nothing for the presidents and heads of state to deviate from the truth and
have no real issue with it. Currently
the President of this country seems to make up his own truth and he is so good
at it that he even has his supports believing them.
When I was much younger and being raised by my father, a
very strong southern man with integrity (not perfection), he would insist that
we (me and my siblings) told the truth.
The opposite of truth is a lie and that was never tolerated. Lies tended to take on a lie of their
own. There is a saying that is
true. If you tell a lie typically you
must tell another one to cover the first one.
However, when you live in truth and are truthful in what you say and do
people will respect and trust you more.
This came into play as I got older because as a child, I found it easier
to lie about the bad things I had done as to not receive the punishment that
accompanied it. I was not good at it
and I think that most of the time my father already knew I was not telling the
truth. There were consequences that as a
child I did not think about before telling a lie. However, as I got older, I realized through
experience that truth has immense power and value.
When I was in my teens, I discovered my sexuality was
different from those I knew. I began to
explore that part of me when I turned 17 almost 18. However, while I accepted my sexuality, I
did not divulge that information to anyone.
I pretended to like women and live outwardly a life based on a lie and
did so for my own comfort and sanity.
As the years went on and I got order and more comfortable in who I was I
was able to tell my truth…. I am a black gay man. Telling that truth to others as well as to
myself was life a breath of fresh air every time I spoke those words when
asked. I was living my truth and that
truth afforded me some freedoms and joys that I am sure would not have been
there had I been deceptive in my authenticity. In living my truth, I gained the admiration
and respect of people because they had seen or heard about so much deceit of
men regarding their sexuality. The
hardest part about telling the truth is that you must hear and reconcile with
the possible joy and pain that it may cause you as well as others. Not all truth telling is laced in aromatic
flowers. Some truths are full of
thorns. Many of us, including me at
times preferred to hear the untruth because hearing and facing what we knew as
the truth was too painful.
For example, my mother died when I was 2 years old. I have no memory of her AT ALL. When I was in grade school, I use to make up
stories for myself saying that she was not dead but would one day soon show up
at 3:15 to pick me up from school. You
see the pain of her not ever coming back was hard for my 10-year-old heart to
deal with, therefore, I avoided the truth and make up my own story to
cope. Some 40 years later I sat in
therapy addressing the issue of her absence.
I have to again face the truth as a grown man that her death left a
whole in my spirit that I would never be able to heal from. Literally after making that discovery during
counselling I became parallelized with grief…adult grief and realization of
facing the truth.
At the end of the day I find it easier and more rewarding to
be truthful in most situations. Quality
people of integrity find other quality people of integrity when the truth is
part of your being.
