Just the other day the news hit the wire that NBA referee,
Bill Kennedy, had announced that he is SGL (same gender loving). This announcement was sparked when Sacramento
player Rajon Rondo made homophobic comments directed at Bill Kennedy. Bill evidently felt compelled to not remain
silent. When I saw the article, while not a sports fan
at all, I thought to myself, “Wow, this is powerful news”. Powerful because Bill is a black man
participating in a very testosterone driving sport. It is very rare that we see a black man
publicly announce that he is SGL. Because of this I chose to share it on my
Facebook page. I tagged my cousin
because she is a sports fan and has been an ardent supporter of me, an SGL
man. For those that are not aware of the
workings of Facebook let me inform you. Once you tag someone in your posts
all of that person’s friends are made aware of the post and are able to view and comment on what was posted. I received a couple of comments to my post
that contained comments from what I presume to be heterosexual men like “Why is
this important? Do we need to know what people do in their bedroom…” and “This
is unimportant". We don’t need to know or
should not care about a person’s sexual preference.
That is a private and personal matter.”
Upon reading these responses I began to get a little
bothered because what some in the heterosexual community do not
understand is they have “heterosexual privilege”. Simply put...“If you
don’t have to think about it, it’s a privilege.” As a SGL man I have to encounter the outward
expressions of heterosexual companionship daily. In everyday life I have to watch heterosexual
intimacy from something as small as a warm embrace to a full out tongue
acrobatics as I walk down the street.
Not once do I say that heterosexual expression and acknowledgement of
who they are as sexual being should remain private. How
often do we read articles on the public heterosexual figures and their partner
or spouse? Heterosexual expression is
the norm. If someone was to ask either
of the respondents to tone down his blackness or maleness I am sure an argument
would ensue. Being who you are should
not upset or offend anyone. What some
heterosexuals fail to see is that we want that some freedom to live our lives
as you do. You grew up with an accepted
existence, however, most of us have not.
However, we long for that comfort.
In supporting us you lose nothing but the world gains immensely. A world where SGL boys are made to feel odd, strange or abnormal for what comes natural to them and as a result commit suicide or seek acceptance from those that
are out to use, abuse or physically harm them.
If Bill’s announcement has helped someone understand that being SGL is
not a negative then he has made a true impact on the world.
The above noted comments are subtle but very visible
suggestion that it would have been much better if Bill Kennedy would have just
stayed in the closet. Stay in the closet
so that I can feel comfortable because this knowledge now bothers me and I don’t
like it. Unfortunately all too often
when we as SGL men and women decide to live an authentic life fully we run the
risk of losing important people in our lives (friends and family). The
fact that Bill Kennedy took a very bold step to say to the world that he is a
SGL man is a very big deal. It is so
because we don’t see very many black men taking that step. Our communities of color send mixed signals
often. On one hand you want us accept
who we are and not live in the closet (aka downlow) but then when one of us
choose to be authentic in who he/she is you say that is a private matter we don’t
need to know that information. You have not made it easy for us. Sorry you don't get to have it both ways.
I am proud of Bill Kennedy for responding with an
announcement. I believe his announcement was
specifically for Rondo. Yeah, you called
me a faggot motherfucker (just what I presume he said to Bill) and guess what, I AM.
So what you said did not sting or hurt me it simply gave me strength and
the push I needed to live in my truth authentically.
