DOMA, Thank You President Obama

On September 21, 1996, the House and Congress passed and the President (Clinton) signed the infamous Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) legislation. DOMA was instituted in an effort to federally mandate that marriage be defined as a union between opposite sex individuals. Today it is used to keep complete marriage equality from happening. As I was watching the evening national news, I heard that President Obama feels that DOMA is unconstitutional. What makes this such a remarkable instance and caused me to stop in my tracks is that the President has stated clearly that DOMA, which denies marriage equality to same-sex couples, is wrong and unconstitutional. Now the debate will begin and take a different turn because now the LGBT community has gained a powerful ally in court, armed with a powerful argument. What is so interesting about this comment from the President is that just two years ago he infactically stated that marriage was between and man and woman. While the President spoke recently in support of marriage equality, this was not the case just two short years ago. The fact that the President can publically expose his previous stance on the marriage equality issue this shows that he is ever evolving. Currently DOMA is being used to keep full marriage equality rights from coming to the surface for all citizens of this country. The Department of Justice is in place to defent the laws of this country if reasonable arguments can be made, however, currently no such arguments can be made in federal court where these cases are being tried. Today, February 23, 2011, Attorney General, Eric Holder announced that the Justice Department would cease legal defense of the Act at the direction of the President, because he reached the conclusion that it was inconstitutional. If there is one piece of legislation that has consistently been a barrier to the recognition of same-sex marriages then it would have to be DOMA .

Let me be very clear, Eric Holder is doing his job by defending the law. However, it has been determined that this law is unconstitutional and now it is his job to attempt to have that law repealed.

As the President and Attorney General moves forward, there are three things to keep in mind.

1.) What Obama and Holder have determined after a careful analysis is that discrimination cases involving sexual orientation deserve heightened scrutiny and that Section 3 of DOMA is unconstitutional. Now it is up to the district court within the jurisdiction of the Second Circuit Court of Appeals to decide whether it agrees. However, no matter what happens, as Evan Wolfson of Freedom to Marry told me, "You can't unring the Liberty Bell."

2.) DOJ attorneys have been instructed to articulate the new DOMA stance to the courts in other pending DOMA cases.

3.) The ball is now in Boehner's court to decide whether Congress will defend DOMA now that justice will not. Nevertheless, he does not have much time. As I have already mentioned, the deadline for filing arguments in the case is two weeks from tomorrow.

(http://voices.washingtonpost.com/postpartisan/2011/02/obamas_historic_action_against.html)

As a SGL man in a country, that reminds me daily that my constitutional rights are not equal to those of those that are heterosexual. Who or how I love should not eradicate my rights on the constitution of the United States. This is truly a civil rights issue and I know that there has been much debate as to whether marriage equality is a civil rights issue. I would say to those that disagree that while you may feel that way, however, I would not argue with you. Nevertheless, anytime any citizen of this country is not afforded the same rights as his neighbor not only is it an injustice it is an a civil discriminatory practice.

Let me say in closing that I have been a long time proponent of marriage equality. I will continue to advocate until all 50 states have adopted marriage equality and DOMA is repealed.

Bullying - Take Control

This past weekend I had the pleasure of reclaiming my lost center.  I went to visit family in Houston.  I have three beautiful great nephews (2, 3, and 7 years old).  Recently I have been dealing with some professional challenges that have been stressing my ass OUT!!!   Currently, I have a good life and thank God for everything and everyone that I have in my life.   Getting to this place as a Black (authentically living) SGL man in corporate America has not been easy and maintaining it is just as difficult.   I think about the possibility of any of them being bullied and it concerns me for it is possible that they will find themselves with no support from their teachers and school administrators.   

The fact that I have looked at the LGBT landscape and consistently have to read about LGBT youth taking their lives because of bullying makes me so sad.  These children are gifts from God and they have been beaten upon that they see no other out but suicide.   There should never be tolerance for anyone being bullied for ANY reason and made to feel less than.  I remember back in the day when I was in school and having to deal with pubity, adolescence, being an introvert and all that comes with growing up and thinking how difficult life was for me.  What I did not mention is the fact that I found myself much different from my muscular, sports enthusiast older brother.  I felt truly like an odd duck.  Becoming an adult is not an easy process for we all go through the difficulties of growing into our own personality.  On that path there can be some very cruel people (children and adults) that through their lens you have no right to be different in any way.  Being different is and can be a curse because your fellow students can be extremely cruel.  As I have watched the responses from populus individuals that all seem to only be able to state…”Just hang in there it is going to get better”.  While that is true, it offers no real cushion to any child.  What those being bullied need to hear is someone in school administration stand in front of the student body and say that there is a zero tolerance where bullying is involved.  Each parent should be told that if they find out that their child is being bullied it will not be looked at as “oh, that is just kids being kids.  You need to tell your child to suck it up for it will get better.”  Bullshit, parents need to take a no tolerance stance/take no prisoners attitude  and demand that teachers and administrators protect all of our children.  The parent of the bully should be told that your child would be expelled if you do not rein his or her ass in ASAP.

Life will get better but our children need to know that they have our full support without pause NOW!!!  We need to do what the father did when he found out that his daughter was being bullied on the school bus.  Confront the bully and shut it down.  I bet that those kids that were bullying that young girl have stopped and will not do it again. 

Adult life is difficult and full of bill paying and going to a job you may hate, therefore, childhood should be stress free for the most part.  It should be carefree.  Having any child worry about being made fun of or feel that life is better not living is a sin and every adult should be his or her unbrella in the midst of personal storms. 

Bishop, Closets are for Clothes

How does one begin to discuss such a difficult and public topic that has not only the tongues of the LGBT community wagging but those of the most people in this country? Bishop Eddie Long, pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church located in Atlanta, Georgia was recently charged with sexual coercion by four young men who were members of his church as well as his LongFellow program which was setup to mentor young men. It is alleged that the Bishop seduced the young men as well as supplied them with material items. Bishop Long has a lengthy history of taking a very vocal stance against same gender loving (SGL) men and women from the pulpit of his 25,000-member church. In 2004 on a cold and rainy day in Atlanta when the country was seeing a surge in the interest for marriage equality from the SGL community, Bishop Long organized a march in support of a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Bishop Long has not been shy about his very vocal stance against the SGL community. Therefore, when the first lawsuit hit the newswires the SGL community was buzzing. I first read about it as a posting from one of my Facebook friends. While I could not say that I doubted the allegations, I wanted to remain neutral beause I believe in innocent until proven guilty. As the days continued there were two additional lawsuits filed against Bishop Long with similiar allegations as the first two litigants. One might find it strange that I wanted to give Bishop Long any slack and not immediately convict him.

As the week passed, I began to hear more about the allegations and it became clear that Bishop Long had a lot of explaining to do. I watched a newsclip of his Sunday morning service because he promised to address the allegations. It was very telling as he stood very self-assured nothing that “I am like Goliath and I have five rocks and have not thrown one yet”. What was evident about his statement was the fact that he did not state that he was innocent.

At the end of the day, the chickens have come home to roost regarding this very hipocritcal existense that Bishop Long has lived. Just last night I watched a brief interview of one of the litigants and he spoke with intelligence and conviction. After listening to the young man that was tracked down and was surprised with a camera in his face, I concluded that these were not young men out to bring down a powerful minister. These men had been emotionally manipulated and then discarded when their usefulness had expired. However, it appears that this young man in the interview was speaking from a place of hurt and rejection. This young man had evidently developed deep feeling for the Bishop and was now disappointed with the way he was discarded. While this may be the case, the use of his power and authority over these men that were of age was orchestrated with the hope that it would remain their little secret. What makes all of this so sick is the fact that Bishop Long used his pulpit to demean SGL men and women while “allegedly” coercing young men for personal sexual and emotional gratification. My fear with all of the activities regarding this matter is that the public will look Bishop Long as a homosexual and only classified as such. He is a sexual predator engaged in same sex activity. This does not automatically make him a SGL man.

Closets are for clothes and shoes. When we try to shield who we really are from the world we are setting ourselves up for years of therapy. However, for many opening that door and coming out of that closet can cause much agony and constination, which can lead to self destructive and detrimental behavior. Society has pulled a cruel game by telling us that they just want SGL men and women to be honest and stop hiding. However, telling stating that we all should live an authentic life does not lend itself to what most SGL men and women have had to deal with. Why would anyone live authentically with the possibility of being ridiculed, thought of as “less than”, unworthy of equal rights, God’s love, etc? Society has made the closet comfortable because celebrating those living an authentic life does not lend itself to what we truly want to embrace. Therefore, on some minor level of understanding I can see why Bishop Long decided to stay in the closet. Being accepted is a drug that we all want to get high on. Once you have that acceptance it is next to impossible to show yourself as a person that the world has defined as unacceptable.

Politics Make Strange Bedfellows

On December 12th the fourth largest city in the United States, Houston, Texas, elected an openly gay mayor. Annise Parker ran against an African-American candidate, Gene Locke. To his credit, Mr. Locke did not raise the issue of Ms. Parker’s sexuality. The opponents ran on issues and not personal attacks or personalities. Mr. Locke was a former city attorney and ran on flushing out crime in the city. Ms. Parker, City Controller, ran on a platform of the ability to handle the city budgets and municipal affairs.

While the candidates stuck to their platforms and focused on what they felt would make them the next mayor of Houston the campaign got strange because a group of black pastors began to speak out against Ms. Parker making reference to her “gay” agenda an agenda that she was not running on. Ms. Parker did not reference her sexuality in the primary or the final election process. It appears that a contengent group of African American pastors of Houston had a real problem with Ms. Parker based on her sexuality and nothing more. They to aligned themselves with conservative right wing individuals. This alliance is odd and disturbing because we (African-Americans) seem to jump at the chance with aligning ourselves with those who would give less than a damned about us but find it convienent to use us because of our stance when it comes to gay issues. Let me say this infatically, the conservative right have never made any bones about the fact that they are not about to support the things that matter most to the African-American community. They have never been silent in who they are, yet we have pastors, men and women we consider as stallworth figures in our community, sit and strategize with them.  So are they betraying the community as a whole?  The idea that sitting down with someone that only wants to use you and your community to serve their own agenda and you do this repeatedly at this point and time in history actually turns my stomach. The conservative right comes calling everytime a city attempts to pass marriage equality legislation in cities around this country. We always seem to have selective amnesia about people who only want our support for their own political gain. Knowing this, we never fail to disappoint “the enemy” and we jump at the chance to join the sadistic party of strange bedfellows. This alliance just adds to the image that some pastors are hypocritical human beings. Let us not be fooled the “closet” is full of men and women that get up every Sunday morning put on their pastor attire and attack the LGBT community. Every African-American pastor sits in their pulpits every Sunday watching and listening to LGBT members of the church serve in the choir, deacon and trustee boards as well in the pulpits at their places of worship they are systematically fighting to keep them all in the closet to help perpetuate a climate of self destruction. We have yet to connect the dots and understand that this silence and lack of support is killing us in many ways for it give license to sick minds to abuse men and women in the LGBT community, makes men and women afraid to express who they truly are, etc.

I applaude both Mr. Locke and Ms. Parker for running a campaign that focused on the issues and not on personal attacks. I also congratulate the Houstonians for electing someone they chose based on qualifications.

Ft. Hood

Let me start by saying I wrestled with this subject because it is sensitive on several levels (racial, military patriotism and sexuality).

As a man that has been Black all my life, I know how it feels to have my actions deemed circumspect just by my appearance by those that do not share my ethnicity. I have even been called the “N” word a few times. Now if we add my sexuality as another layer to that even those with whom I share the same race with may question my validity as a man. Let me state first and foremost I have never thought of serving in the military so I am not an authority on the subject at all, however, I do support and applaud those that voluntarily join to serve this country in that capacity.

When I first heard to the shooting at Fort Hood that occurred approximately two weeks ago and the identity of the officer was revealed I said to myself ‘okay here we go, they are going to make this about him being a Muslim’. I was a little bothered because I am sensitive to anyone being judged by his or her ethnicity for I know how that feels. Therefore, when it was reported that he was being called disparaging names by fellow officers I felt a little sorry for him but I also did not feel that any of that justified or excused him killing 13 innocent men and women. As the days rolled on and the more in-depth reports came across the news wires what unfolded was unbelievable. Here was a man that held the rank of Major in the armed forces that was being watched for sometime because of his communication with someone who is described as a religious extremist. It was noted that when he was serving at Walter Reed Hospital they were just happy to move him along because he would no longer be their problem.

As I continued to read these stories, I began to ponder; when did it become okay to keep service men and women that truly appeared to be a threat and discharge those that have served their country with honor and dedication because of their sexuality. Something is wrong with the system and it appears to be rather lopsided and in need of much repair.

Since DADT (don’t ask, don’t tell) was introduced, the military has discharged more than 13,000 lesbians, gays and bisexuals, according to the Service members Legal Defense Network. A 2005 government report found that about 800 of them had skills deemed "critical," such as engineering and linguistics, and that it cost the military about $200 million to recruit and train their replacements.

What makes this policy sad is that it ill serves this country because many of those that are discharged or in some cases choose to leave the because of DADT are the best and brightest of the armed services. Forcing someone to live in a closeted environment can lead to all kinds of mental disorders because of the fear of being outed, discharged or harrassed by fellow officers. Living in secret is not healthy and it is allowed to persist in an effort to present a false sense of security to which this does not apply.It is my hope that DADT makes it to President Obama’s desk within the next three years for repeal.

Love Trumps Hate...

On October 8, 2009, the House passed the first major piece of legislation to protect the rights of LGBT individuals in this country on a federal level. This was not an easy task for this legislation had failed to be passed on 13 other occasions in the past 12 years. However, the 14th try was a charm. The bill is headed to the desk of the President where it will be signed.

On November 13, 1997 105th Congress - The Hate Crimes Prevention Act was introduced in the House and the Senate. The bill would extend the protection of the current federal hate crimes law to include those who are victimized because of their sexual orientation, gender or disability. It would also strengthen current law regarding hate crimes based on race, religion and national origin.

On June 7, 1998, James Byrd Jr., 49, of Jasper, TX, was brutually kiilled after accepting a ride from three white men (members of white supremacy group Aryan Pride). He was stripped naked, chained by his ankles and dragged behind a pickup truck. It was noted after the autopsy that James was alive during much of the dragging. He died after his arm and head were severed duriing the dragging.

October 6-7, 1998, Matthew Shepard, 21, of Laramie, Wyo., meets two men, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, at a bar, and they drive him to a remote area east of Laramie, where they tie him to a split-rail fence, beat him and leave him to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later, he is found by a cyclist, who initially mistakes him for a scarecrow.
The late Senator Kennedy introduced to the 110th Congress a bill to expand the U.S. federal hate-crime law in March/April 2007 to encompass bodily crimes motivated by a victim’s actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. Through much political rangling, the bill died in committee and was later reintroduced as an admendment. However, this admendment was dropped due to opposition from antiwar Democrats, conservative groups and then President George W. Bush.

In April 2009, the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr., Hate Crime Prevention Act is introduced to the Senate. It adopted the definition of a hate crime set by the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994 (i.e., a crime in which the defendant intentionally selects a victim or, in the case of a property crime, the property that is the object of the crime because of the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, gender, disability, or sexual orientation of any person). However, the Matthew Shepart and James Byrd, Jr., Hate Crime Act Authorizes the Attorney General to:

(1) Provide state, local, or tribal law enforcement agencies with technical, forensic, prosecutorial, or other assistance in the investigation or prosecution of violent crimes and hate crimes; and

(2) award grants to assist such agencies with the extraordinary expenses associated with the investigation and prosecution of hate crimes. Authorizes the Office of Justice Programs to award grants to state, local, or tribal programs designed to combat hate crimes committed by juveniles. Authorizes appropriations to the Department of Justice (DOJ), including the Community Relations Service, for FY2010-FY2012 to prevent and respond to hate crime acts. Amends the federal criminal code to prohibit willfully causing bodily injury to any person because of the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability of such person. Amends the Hate Crimes Statistics Act to expand data collection and reporting requirements under such Act to include:

(1) crimes manifesting prejudice based on gender and gender identity; and

(2) hate crimes committed by and against juveniles. Declares that nothing in this Act shall be construed to prohibit the exercise of constitutionally protected free speech.

When Matthew Shepard was murdered in 1998, the Laramie, Wyo., police department requested assistance from the U.S. Department of Justice. Because crimes motivated by anti-LGBT bias were not covered in federal law, the department could not assist, and the prosecution was so expensive that Laramie had to furlough law enforcement officers. The act ensures that local law enforcement will have the resources it needs to address hate crimes.

At the time of James Byrd, Jr's murder, there were no hate-crime laws in the state of Texas.

Forty-five (45) states have hate crimes statutes, and the bill would not change current practices where hate crimes are generally investigated and prosecuted by state and local officials. However, it does broaden the narrow range of actions - such as attending school or voting - that can trigger federal involvement and allows the federal government to step in if the Justice Department certifies that a state is unwilling or unable to follow through on an alleged hate crime.

It was interesting to read the comments from some in the LGBT community. One person noted in response to the passage that this will not do anything to stop people in the LGBT community from being targets of attack and we should use our second amendment right and become armed and ready. I have no idea where his anger is coming from but I was a little bothered by that since of desperation. To think that ANY law passed will automatically stop people from committing the crime is short sighted at best. If that was the case, we could end crime simply by passing laws and the felons would stop in their tracks for fear of being charged and convicted. Laws are not a deterent in most cases, however, it is allows for resiprocity.

Youthful Motivation

Today the President of the United States addressed the students returning to school. As soon as it was announced, there was this deafening dissatisfation from the conservative right. There were comments made indicating that President Obama was attempting to indoctrinate the children or this is what communist leaders do in communist countries all before anyone knew what was going to be stated.

After all the reports and comments that were being made I chose to read the speech once it was made available on the whitehouse website prior to it being delivered. As I read it, I thought it was very positive and not one of indoctrination. I thought of how many kids need to hear this message. There are those in communities and households that never get words of encouragement and support regarding their education and goals for the future. What bothers me about those that do not think that the President should say anything to “their” children are the same people that say that every citizen should pull himself or herself up by their bootstraps and not be a drain on society. Isn’t this speech what these very same people are asking us all to do…take responsibility for self? I also remember that not so long ago were upset because there were flag burnings taking place in the United States by some of its citizens. They would talk about the lack of respect for the flag and what it stands for yet these same people displays a lack of respect for the President and the office that he holds. I would never say that everyone in this country should be on the President Obama bandwagon. However, what bothers me is we have become a country of selfish, single minded, central thinking and unconcerned individuals. I have wondered, where is the American spirit that we seem to tout and stick out chest out about? If his address touches one student to move beyond the limits that his/her community, friends, family or society has placed on them then it was a rousing success. Not everyone has supportive forces in their lives to tell them that regardless of the odds they can do it. What happened when we were a nation that thought about those that were less fortunate than we were, or as the Bible say “the least of these”? If we look at the other issue that seems to be embracing the headlines lately (Healthcare Reform), you will notice that those voices that have been screaming at the town hall meetings were from those that have insurance and talking about their insurance. However, there are approximately 40 million in this country that do not have healthcare and not ONCE have we heard these disrupters speaking about those that are not fortunate enough to have healthcare coverage. Why is that?

The overtones are disappointing because it appear that the attacks on the President seem to have little to do with his policies but a lot to do with his skin color and willingness to spread a since of hope. Many of these same people would never admit that this is a race issue because they do not want to admit the stigma that racism or any “ism” carries. However, there are those that are not happy that a Black man is sitting in the oval office and nothing he can say or do would change their thoughts about anything he does or says. That is a sad state of affairs.

Aren’t we a nation of people that are bigger than that?