Friday, November 5, 2010

Bullying - Take Control

This past weekend I had the pleasure of reclaiming my lost center.  I went to visit family in Houston.  I have three beautiful great nephews (2, 3, and 7 years old).  Recently I have been dealing with some professional challenges that have been stressing my ass OUT!!!   Currently, I have a good life and thank God for everything and everyone that I have in my life.   Getting to this place as a Black (authentically living) SGL man in corporate America has not been easy and maintaining it is just as difficult.   I think about the possibility of any of them being bullied and it concerns me for it is possible that they will find themselves with no support from their teachers and school administrators.   
The fact that I have looked at the LGBT landscape and consistently have to read about LGBT youth taking their lives because of bullying makes me so sad.  These children are gifts from God and they have been beaten upon that they see no other out but suicide.   There should never be tolerance for anyone being bullied for ANY reason and made to feel less than.  I remember back in the day when I was in school and having to deal with pubity, adolescence, being an introvert and all that comes with growing up and thinking how difficult life was for me.  What I did not mention is the fact that I found myself much different from my muscular, sports enthusiast older brother.  I felt truly like an odd duck.  Becoming an adult is not an easy process for we all go through the difficulties of growing into our own personality.  On that path there can be some very cruel people (children and adults) that through their lens you have no right to be different in any way.  Being different is and can be a curse because your fellow students can be extremely cruel.  As I have watched the responses from populus individuals that all seem to only be able to state…”Just hang in there it is going to get better”.  While that is true, it offers no real cushion to any child.  What those being bullied need to hear is someone in school administration stand in front of the student body and say that there is a zero tolerance where bullying is involved.  Each parent should be told that if they find out that their child is being bullied it will not be looked at as “oh, that is just kids being kids.  You need to tell your child to suck it up for it will get better.”  Bullshit, parents need to take a no tolerance stance/take no prisoners attitude  and demand that teachers and administrators protect all of our children.  The parent of the bully should be told that your child would be expelled if you do not rein his or her ass in ASAP.
Life will get better but our children need to know that they have our full support without pause NOW!!!  We need to do what the father did when he found out that his daughter was being bullied on the school bus.  Confront the bully and shut it down.  I bet that those kids that were bullying that young girl have stopped and will not do it again. 
Adult life is difficult and full of bill paying and going to a job you may hate, therefore, childhood should be stress free for the most part.  It should be carefree.  Having any child worry about being made fun of or feel that life is better not living is a sin and every adult should be his or her unbrella in the midst of personal storms. 


  1. Well Said, Rhan!!! It breaks my heart that such cruelty exists in our world. But I agree that each one of us has a responsibility to each of the kids with whom we come in contact to make them feel safe, loved, and protected. It's NOT ok to single out any kid for of any reason to be the brunt of ridicule. As a parent, I fell VERY strongly about that---probably more so because my shy child was bullied and I didn't find out about it until the end of the school year when it was happening. I have noticed a dramatic change in behavior now that they are no longer in contact with the perpetrators.

  2. I just found out my daughter is being bullied. She cries and begs for me not to take her to school. I called the counselor, but she did not sound very caring about the situation. My daughter has been crying at night because she feels so sick about going to school. The counselor did talk to my daughter and right after that she talked to the bully. My daughter is even more scared to back. She was crying tonight. I don't want to take her back to a place that she fears so badly. What should I do?